Sunday, June 27, 2010

enter interesting blog title here

Well, we're coming up on 6 months since we said goodbye to Leah.  I can hardly believe it.  I don't know whether it's due to the fact that I was in a hazy fog for the first months after she passed, or the way the days blend into one another now that I'm back at work -- but it seems like it was just yesterday that I was home with Leah. I feel like I'll wake up tomorrow at 6:45 to relieve Nurse Anne, spend the first few hours prepping bottles and bandage supplies, get Leah up and changed around 9:30, spend our day playing, reading, cuddling, napping .....

I would so easily go back to those days for myself.  Living as a stay-at-home-Mom is not an affront to feminists; I understand that now.  I was where I belonged: home with my daughter who needed me more than anyone or anything else.  
But for Leah: I know we can't go back to those days.  I wouldn't trade her peace for anything in the world.

Lets see ............ what else .................
I'm having the blog professionally redone in the upcoming days.  I feel the need to give it an overhaul.  I don't really know why.  I'd like to start using it as every other blogger on the planet uses their blogs; as a sort of online journal - and for some reason it's current look doesn't inspire me like it used to.   
But I'd also like to start writing a bit more honestly.   I think sometimes I skirt some feelings and issues because of who reads this - and I have to stop that.  

Jeff and I are still smoke-free!  I'm coming up on a month of being smoke-free, and Jeff will be hitting the 3 week mark.  I'm way more proud of him than I am of myself.  Having quit before; I knew what I was getting into - I knew I'd have those moments at work where all I wanted to do was get away from my desk and go have a smoke.  But I also knew my hair would smell so much better.  Jeff didn't really know what it is to quit - and believe me, he was NOT fun to live with for that first week.  

Sammie (our puppy) has become a woman.  We noticed late last week that she had entered her first heat cycle.  She'll be spayed soon ... I thought I had time .... she's only 7 months old!!  It's not as bad as living with a cat in heat though.  Man ..... that's rough.  The crying .... the rolling on the floor ..... the 'presenting' of their back to be scratched ...... the incessant meowing ..... the peeing on my dry-clean only feather bed.  With Sammie it's just a bit of cleanup (if you know what I mean).  
I had to take her to the vet on Friday for a booster shot and she was growling at the vet!! Talk about hormones!

Our garden for Leah is struggling with this current heat wave we're going through here in Maryland.  It's ridiculous.  I'd have to water everything about 5 times a day to keep ahead of the damage the 95 degree weather is doing.  And that's hard to do with a job and everything.  
Certain things are thriving (the lantana) while others are wilting away to clumps of dryness (the lavender).  
Then again, I told you I have a brown thumb. 


Sara said...

I know what you mean. I was at the EB conference a little over a week ago and while there it was the 5 1/2 anniversary of Garrett's passing and it was so unreal it's been that long! Some days it seems like it was a life time (or two) ago and other days like it just happened last week.

Linda said...

Hi Love: I was just thinking on Friday that it had been 6 months (Christmas) since I saw my puddin pop for the last time. I miss her so much but she is at peace and that's what we have to remember.
So proud of you and Jeff for being smoke free. You guys are saving a fortune.
Still praying for you guys. Love you both so much. Love Mom XOXOXO

Emelie said...

Hi Meg! You are strong and very good that you not are smoking=) I love to smoke, but I hate it to. I also stoped. I hope you are ok. Big hug!!

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